by Lucia Baldelli
One of my worst nightmares in coaching? I have been in situations when I was tempted to offer input, even if it is against my role as a coach… I had to battle my strong desire to help people. Such a horrible thing to navigate for me!!! But I did not want my clients to get confused about what coaching is or is not or asking for advice during a coaching session!
I can recall quite a few examples of colleagues who find themselves in similar situations:
➡ a coach who has written a book about life coaching and kindly offers unsolicited input about how I should live my own story
➡ a friend who is working for an organisation and teaching soft skills to leaders who then ask for advice during coaching sessions
➡ another colleague who works for a coaching platform who assigns reading homework and reflection tasks to clients.
In all the above examples, we are considered (or maybe we just feel) the expert in the room.
That gives us some sort of AUTHORITY that has the potential to undermine partnership in the room.
BUT we are not HEROES… it is not our job to save them, unless we have contracted for mentoring too!
Here are some TRAPS to look out for:
❌ we start talking about the book we read because we are very passionate about it
❌ we give them reading tasks and we follow up on them
❌ we remind them of what we taught during the last training session on soft skills
❌ we share how we do it
❌ we tell them how they should move things forward
And suddenly THE FOCUS IS ON THE COACH!!!
Here are some USEFUL TIPS that helped me in my coaching practice:
✅ be prepared to share who you are as a coach
✅ set clear boundaries that define your practice – things you would do or refuse to do as a coach
✅ in case of a coaching & mentoring engagement, separate mentoring sessions from coaching sessions to avoid confusion
✅ ask what they need – the mentor or the coach – before we start, so that we can be in the right mindset
✅ at the beginning of the relationship contract if they would appreciate resources on the topics we discuss.
You are invited to join our FREE ‘Coaching Dojo’ to practice in a safe space and get feedback on your skills from an ICF MCC certified mentor coach.
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